Always On My Mind:

Dear Ramone,

I know it’s been like 12 years since our cosmic paths collided but I still, to this day, think about you and wonder where I might be now had I joined you and your merry band of school-bus-driving hippies.

You and your fabulous head full of dreads, me in my flowing hippie skirts. Your baby soft hands seemed to find all the knots in my shoulders as you massaged them on the sidewalk in front of the Palace while your friends lovingly coaxed primal beats from their bongos in the background. The connection? It was instantaneous, magnetic and mesmerizing. You and your friends were just passing through on your way to pick mushrooms in Oregon and you wanted us to come with you. As my butterfly brain flirted over that possibility we walked, held hands and each other.

Those two days were completely infused with you; sketch books were filled with my impressions of you. Everywhere I went I would be chanting your name, rolling the R, filling myself with the simplicity of your name. Those two days were buttery and warm to me, they were like sinking into a bathtub of melted chocolate.

Ah, Rrrrramone, I will never forget you.

Auntie Wee

Purple:

Lucille & Bridger:

Two Entirely Separate Instances:

We've just sidled up to the bar, drinks in hand, and i'm apparently doing something dorky, but normal:

my sister: "God i love you."

A.W.: ??

my sister: "You're so strange! But god i love you."


*****

We're in the car, Liz Phair is in the CD player, and i'm "singing" along in my own special way:

B.E.D.: "God i love you."

A.W.: ??

B.E.D.: "You're so strange! But perfect."

Reflecting:

Occasionally, when taking pictures, i take one that captures a lot more than i had been expecting. Whether it's the unmitigated joy of my daughter belly-laughing at her cat or it's the sunlight that whispers through the top boughs of a cedar thicket, some pictures stop me in my tracks, elicits emotions and brings to light things that may have been hiding in the shadows.

I think that part of being away from friends for extended lengths of time causes you to have to make assumptions about them and their state of being. You can talk to them on the phone regularly and know about their ups and downs and you can even understand inherently that they have a tendency toward melancholia. But you sort of have to take them at their stories of being A-OK, of enjoying where they're at and what they're doing despite a tinny echo of sadness coming through the phone.

You can be fully aware that making plans to spend some time with each other comes with a sort of unspoken disclaimer that although the plans are set, there is still a more-than-likely chance that the visiting time will not happen. You understand that and you accept that because in the back of your mind you know what they're like and you take them, quirks and all. But. When you're actually there, in the same building, at the same wedding and their eyes won't ever meet yours, and any attempt at conversation - which normally flows easily and comfortably - seems awkward and sort of painful, a lot of things start to run through your head.

And then you see the picture.

And that one flash of light, that one click of a button, caught more unspoken understanding than you realized.

Catching Up Is Hard To Do:

Ok, so. This has been sitting as a draft since, hm, the 17th. I imagine it's about time for me to drag it out, slap something down and post it. Truth be known, i have 3 of these 'drafts' just sitting there. Three separate times that i thought i had something to say but the actual act of trying to put across the nonsensical warblings that whirl through my brain became so daunting that i'd have rather clicked save and continued to perpetuate my rep as the queen of procrastination than actually herd my thoughts into one spot and try and funnel them through my fingertips.

I have a friend who is not only one the smartest people i know but is also an amazing writer. The converse is that his soul is so tortured that his 'relating to humanity' skills are fairly non-existant and he is, in general, miserable.

But damn, he writes well.

I returned from Montana, got resettled into my dailiness and decided that although i mean for this site to be primarily photos, i should probably include some kind of look at the verbalities of my head. Originally i'd thought that scheduling - ha! - one day a week to put across my missives would be the best and most structured way for me to go about it. Yeah. That's working well isn't it. Anyhoo, my plan is still to write once a week, but, on random days all willy nilly like. It'll be fun! Like a lottery! Woo!

So there we go. One 'draft' down, two more to go...

Incongruous:

There is something confounding, soothing and beautiful about the thorniness in this picture.

I've returned.

I feel incongruous.

I feel the urge to re-evaluate and rearrange.

Daybreak then Sunrise in the Valley:

Returning to Missoula from Polson Sunday morning.

The morning was beautiful and wrenching and enveloping.

A reminder of a place, people and times that have had a huge impact on my life.

Secret Garden:

While i was puttering around at the lodge, waiting to get ready for the wedding, i snuck off to take some pictures and found this enchanting little area right behind the cabin.

The Buzz:

So, having just gotten back from my final trip of the summer to Montana i am slowly recovering from a combination hug/beer fest.

I've got a bunch of pictures and will be updating throughout the day!

Well Worth It:

The Auntie was racing to get us all back to shore because i told her i was feeling "sick".

It was all a ploy to get her back to shore by a certain time so that we could usher her home to shower and change for her surprise partay.

Heh!

Blue Eyed Daughter showing me the little crawfish she found in the lake.

She wanted me to take a picture of the crawfish, but,

for some reason my camera only wanted to focus on her...go figure!

Party Prep:

A & D

I used to babysit for, well, both of them actually.

This trip seemed to be a reunion of the majority of the kids i used to babysit back in the day.

Making me feel, hm, a little old?

Damn.

Paradisical:

The view from the back end of the boat in the middle of the lake.

Cairns:

To guide us on our journey...to fun!

Create by the one, the only, Blue Eyed Daughter.

Did I Mention The Dancing?

Friday night at the partay.

My auntie.

Our friend Dave.

Music.

Sun Salute:

This is the view that greeted me as i walked out onto the patio to do a little yoga Thursday morning.

Our vacation was good - a whirlwind but good. I got to see a lot of people i hadn't seen in a very long time and meet a few that i'd only heard about. Oh! and the dancing? There was so much dancing!